


Stillness

by silverskyfullofstars



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 20:46:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12043950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverskyfullofstars/pseuds/silverskyfullofstars
Summary: Today is one of those days. The days when Sherlock floats between reality and nonbeing, not quite sure what happened to his purpose.





	Stillness

Today is one of those days. The days when Sherlock floats between reality and nonbeing, not quite sure what happened to his purpose. On these days, his mind is less chaotic. It’s not less active, simply less responsive, as if it were speaking from underwater and he’s trying to hear it through both earplugs and the liquid barrier, absorbing and muffling sound. So he simply exists.

No books hold interest; all of their plots are among the arbitrary pieces of information he can still access. He’s read them all. So instead, he sits. There was a show John had been making him watch, something with a blue box and inaccurate time travel, but even though they had left on a cliffhanger, he can’t bring himself to pick up the DVD. It just seems unnecessary. 

He wanders to the kitchen. He knows it’s lunchtime, but there are no leftovers in the fridge, and he can’t seem to remember how to make a simple meal of bread, cheese, and salami. He reaches for one of the blackberries in the open bowl and chews it listlessly, forgetting to notice the burst of taste as the juice explodes over his tongue. Sherlock usually loves blackberries, and he loves that the taste is slightly different each time. But it’s just grey today. Devoid of color.

He’s tired, but what would sleeping do? He wants to do something, but nothing seems to exist. There are no cases on - not that he could take them if there were. He could take a walk, but the minute he considers this, the sunlight and trees outside seem like too much. He needs the silence of 221B as much as it suffocates him. People are too much right now.

So he sits. He tries to play his violin, a quiet song he heard in a movie John had been watching a few nights ago. He vaguely recognized the actress who’d been singing, but he can’t seem to remember her name or the other film he saw her in. It’s not important. It doesn’t sound as good with just the violin, anyways.

So he sits, thoughts of books and television and food and sleep and people and lost stars gone. He’s simply… nothing. It’s ok, though. Sometimes, when John is gone, it’s nice to be nothing. He wishes the sunlight were less bright, though. He could close the curtains, but he likes the way they’re folded right now, perfectly symmetrical. He could call Mrs. Hudson, but a voice would be too much. And anyways, he realizes, she’s at her sister’s this weekend. Oh, well. The silence welcomes him.

Later, footsteps. Sherlock hasn’t moved. Coming up the stairs, John stops and looks at the silent, still figure in the black leather chair. He walks up the stairs, puts his things from work away, and returns. He sits across from Sherlock in the red chair. Stillness and silence is nice, sometimes.

**Author's Note:**

> So, if anyone's curious, the TV show Sherlock's considering is Doctor Who, though you probably guessed that.
> 
> The movie John was watching was Begin Again, and the actress is Keira Knightley, who Sherlock recognizes from The Imitation Game. The song is the acoustic version of Lost Stars, although I was also listening to Tell Me If You Wanna Go Home and Coming Up Roses while writing this.


End file.
